I wrote this in response and left part of it as a comment in one of Becca's entries. Due to the length and the direction it took, I decided to post the whole thing here.

I know what you're saying. But, one of the things I've sort of figured out- just never applied- is that the Christian walk is never consistent. If it was consistent, that would be habitual, which is one of the first things. Pastor Dave explained this the best: Love is not an emotion. It's a decision, an act of the will. I believe the reason why there are so many divorces now is that people just don't know that, they don't get it when they commit their life to only one person. They are 'in love', and they expect the rest of the relationship to feel the same way. They fall out of love, in the sense that they grow to feel differently about each other, (which is supposed to happen, how can one expect to grow closer or farther from another person or God and still feel the same) and then they fall in love with another person.

The same is true about Christianity. It never becomes easy, habitual, or second nature, because the present sinful human nature is far different than the nature that God really intended for us to have. Now, God doescontinue working within us, this is promised, and we do become more like Christ when we are willing, but the process never stops while we live on earth (isn't it cool!) so it will always be an upward struggle.

So, my point is, I think you're looking for a consistency, a habit, a resting place, where there shouldn't be one. God promises the way out, the strength, and the guidance; but the gift of free will comes in- and we have to decide whether or not we are going to follow Christ in that moment. I don't mean a general commitment to Christ, I mean one in the moment: God tells us to do something, and we want to do something else. And the decision comes in when we weigh the urges, and act on them. When Jesus is talking about himself being the good shepherd, he says- the sheep know my voice. The sheep are only really able to obey if they know his voice. Do we know his voice? I don't. I think the answer lies here: stopping as often as possible and listening to him, and stop with the prayers where we talk at him and seek his hand, and rather talk to him, and seek his face.

Wow, I just really convicted myself.
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